Hello Reader,

In the latest Koi Wellness blog here, I explore a topic close to my heart—how multicultural, multilingual, and third-culture kids (TCKs) navigate identity, belonging, and communication. These children face unique challenges, and as a TCK myself, I’ve experienced many of these firsthand.

Growing up in Japan in the '90s and 2000s, the culture was far more homogenous than it is today, and I stood out like a sore thumb—or as the Japanese proverb says, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.”

I spent my childhood caught between two identities: trying to blend in with my Japanese peers while also navigating life as an American living outside the U.S. With the right support, however, TCKs can thrive across cultural environments.
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The Challenge of "Where Are You From?"

I’ve been asked, “Where are you from?” my whole life—and my answer, Tokyo, Japan, often leads to confusion. Growing up in Japan with Caucasian features meant I stood out in a society where blending in was preferred. Navigating two cultures shaped my sense of self, and I see similar experiences in the children I now work with as an OT.

Read the Blog Post

Here are the common patterns I’ve noticed in the multicultural children I support:

1. Identity: Who Am I? Kids grapple with the question of identity early on. They want to be true to themselves but also feel the pressure to blend in. This internal conflict is especially challenging for children moving between cultural spaces.
2. Belonging: Feeling Alone in a Crowd Even with loving families, multicultural kids often feel isolated—caught between multiple communities and unsure of where they truly belong. Building deep friendships can be difficult when they feel different from those around them.
3. Communication: Translanguaging as Connection Many of these children switch between languages seamlessly in conversations. This translanguaging helps them bond with peers, but it’s sometimes discouraged by adults. It’s important to recognize this as a meaningful way for kids to express themselves fully.
4. Privilege: Awareness from a Young Age I’ve been aware of privilege from a young age, and many children in international communities feel the same. Navigating privilege—whether they have it or not—is a significant part of their development, especially when surrounded by peers from varied socioeconomic backgrounds.

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How Can We Help Our Children Adapt to Multiple Cultures?

The key is listening, not just talking. Kids don’t always express their emotions directly. As Epictetus reminds us: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Pay attention not only to your child’s words but also their body language, moods, and actions. Create safe spaces where they feel comfortable sharing, even when the words are hard to find.

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Building a Strong Support System

Helping your child thrive in multiple cultural environments requires patience and empathy. It’s also important to ensure the people around your child—teachers, therapists, and caregivers—truly understand and support their experiences. Ask yourself:

• How does my child feel around this person?
• Have their behavior or learning improved with this person’s support?
• What feedback do other parents share about their experience?

When your child feels seen, heard, and understood, they are empowered to grow into their full potential.

Want more tips? Schedule a call or connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram​, and Facebook. Don't forget to share this article with fellow parents—it's all about empowering each other!

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Warmly,

Aya Porté

Occupational Therapist & Founder, Koi Wellness