Hello Reader!
Have you ever wondered if your child’s challenging behavior is a sign they’re spoiled or if something deeper is going on? You’re not alone.
Many parents I work with ask themselves the same question, often with feelings of guilt or frustration:
- “Our child is just spoiled. When they want something, they will do it.”
- “Maybe we overindulged them, and it’s our fault they act this way.”
- “They’re just being difficult on purpose.”
But what if the behavior you’re seeing isn’t about being spoiled at all?
Spoiled or Sensory? Understanding the Difference
Spoiled behaviors often stem from inconsistent boundaries or overindulgence. These kids may struggle with disappointment or act entitled because they’ve learned certain behaviors get them what they want.
Sensory-driven behaviors are completely different. These are instinctive reactions based on how a child’s nervous system processes sensory input. For example:
- Sensory-Seeking: Constant movement, loud noises, touching everything.
- Sensory-Avoiding: Covering ears, avoiding bright lights, or melting down in noisy environments.
Here’s the key difference: A spoiled child’s behavior is motivated by external rewards or learned habits. A sensory-driven child behaves in ways that help them feel safe and regulated.
Real-Life Scenarios: Spoiled or Sensory?
-
Tantrum in a Store:
- Spoiled Response: Upset because they didn’t get a toy.
- Sensory Response: Overwhelmed by bright lights and loud noises.
-
Difficulty Sitting Still:
- Spoiled Response: Prefers watching TV instead of following rules.
- Sensory Response: Needs movement to stay regulated and focused.
Understanding the why behind the behavior is the first step toward meaningful support.
How You Can Respond Differently
For Spoiled Behaviors:
- Set clear, consistent boundaries.
- Teach patience and delayed gratification.
For Sensory Behaviors:
- Identify and reduce sensory triggers.
- Use tools like noise-canceling headphones or fidget toys.
Behavior is communication, not defiance. Ask yourself:
- “What is my child struggling to communicate?”
- “What need isn’t being met right now?”
Want to explore more? In my latest blog post, I explore how you can tell the difference between spoiled behavior and sensory-driven responses—and how to support your child through both.
If you need 1:1 support, I’m here to help. Let’s work together to create a nurturing environment where your child can thrive.
📞 Schedule a call or connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook.
Warmly,
Aya Porté
Occupational Therapist & Founder, Koi Wellness
